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Miss SMUT BUTTON'S GUIDE TO SATISFYINGLY SAFE SEX

People...right now STIs are like sea levels; they’re both on the rise. To make matters worse there’s now a lot of discussion in the medical community about the emergence of a treatment resistant strain of gonorrhoea. It’s a terrifying time to be alive and smooshing genitals with other people.

But all is not lost! For you see we have a wonderful catchphrase from the days of yore that we can fall back upon in these dark times…

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For many people, the idea of safe sex is a bit of a turn off. So much so that news of a new condom that's basically a bandaid for your pee-hole has taken over the media in recent weeks. Whether or not it will be effective in the prevention of pregnancy, let alone STI’s remains to be seen. But what it does prove is that there’s a demand for safe sex alternatives that don’t limit our ability to feel pleasure, while ensuring that we protect our vulnerable bits.

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With that in mind, let’s take a look at three of the best safe sex options on the market that’ll help keep your genitals footloose and infection free. And while we’re at it, some ways that we can still maximise pleasure while staying safe.

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CONDOMS - SKYN

“Oh baby, I can’t use condoms, I’m allergic to latex.” Many of us have been in this situation, whether it’s with someone who has a genuine latex allergy, or someone who is just a bit of a douche.

Thankfully for latex allergy sufferers and safe sex advocates everywhere Ansell decided to be a pack of legends and create this kickass range of condoms.

The Skyn range is not only 100% latex free, but is also an absolute pleasure to wear. The material they use, Polyisoprene, is designed to be softer than latex without compromising on strength. This means you get a more intimate sexual experience without sacrificing your safety.

The Skyn Original is 2.08”/53mm in diameter and a length of 7.5”/190mm. They also have an Extra Large condom in their range which measures 56mm in diameter.

Skyn condoms are without a doubt the best iteration of the traditional condom I’ve yet come across. You can buy them direct from the kickass kids over at Nikki Darling.

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CONDOM SAFETY TIPS

NEVER reuse a condom.

If you start to put a condom on a penis and realise you’re putting it on the wrong way, you’ll need to throw it out and grab a new one.

Don’t use oil based lubricants with condoms it will break them down and make them more likely to break.

While you can double up condoms, you should be aware that the friction between the two will make them more likely to abrade and split, therefore making them less safe.  

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CONDOM PLEASURE TRICKS

You can put a condom on with your mouth without compromising your health or safety. It’s a pretty neat trick to learn since it makes safety a little more fun.

If you apply a liberal amount of lubricant to the inside of the condom before using it, this will DRAMATICALLY increase the amount of possible pleasure. This is especially true if you’re giving or receiving oral sex through a condom.

If you’re giving head through a condom, don’t be afraid to apply a good amount of flavoured lubricant to the outside of the condom. This will not only stop you from getting condom-mouth, but it will also make you salivate more, making it easier to glide up and down the penis without too much unwanted friction.

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FEMALE CONDOMS - FEMIDOM

Female condoms, or Femidoms, look and feel like you’re shoving a rubbish bag up inside you. They’re not sexy.

If a condom fits the outside of a penis, a female condom fits the inside of a vagina. They’re large, rustley bags that you insert into your vagina and then your partner penetrates them.

They can be used anally, however studies have suggested that this may not be the most enjoyable orifice to have them in.

However! They’re incredibly useful in a number of specific ways.

If you’re a penis owner who is constantly complaining about the feel and texture of condoms, you might find that you enjoy the switch to Femidoms (if your partner is willing and able). Because they don’t grip your penis, they’re better able to simulate the feeling of unprotected sex.

My personal favourite use for them is during group sex. If a penetrator wishes to penetrate multiple partners in one session without stopping at each interval to change condoms, the femidom provides a perfect solution. Each willing partner simply inserts one and the penetrator can move between them at will since there’s no longer any transfer of fluids on the outside of a condom.

The Femidom is a fantastic way to have safe sex with multiple partners and provides a great alternative to the traditional condom.

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FEMALE CONDOM SAFETY TIPS

The biggest risk with using female condoms is the penetrator accidentally slipping into the vagina instead of the condom. Because the outside of the female condom is basically like folds and folds of rustled up plastic, it can be difficult to determine where the correct entry point is (especially in the throes of passion). So unless you’re both experienced users, it’s better to start off slow and safely at the point of penetration.

They can also be washed out and reused up to about 7 times, which can make them a more economic option than condoms.

When washing your female condom, ensure that at no point do you turn it inside out - this would mean they are no longer safe for reuse.

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FEMALE CONDOM PLEASURE TRICKS

Finding the right balance of lubricant with female condoms is usually the difference between a mediocre experience and an exceptionally pleasurable one. If the orifice is too wet, it can start to slip out. If the inside of the condom is too lubricated, the penis owner may lose sensation, because there’s no texture left.

To ensure that you’ve inserted the female condom correctly it can be fun to use a sex toy to push it all the way in, and perhaps masturbate a little with it while you’re there to get you in a great mood.

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DENTAL DAMS - GLYDE

Fellow vagina lovers and anus eaters we have fallen into a trap. We've been blinded by our love for the beautiful southern flowers and we've forgotten that they can be deadly venus fly traps!

This ignorance of ours isn't just limited to the occasional hetero hookup either, vast numbers of the LGBT community admit to having no idea how or when to use protection during oral. This is particularly worrying given how many communicable STIs can spring up from cunninlingus or anilingus. 

If you’re looking to get busy on a beaver, remember to bring a dam! 

Going down on a vagina owning companion can be every bit as fraught with danger as intercourse. And don’t get me started on the problems that can arise from rimming.

Dental dams may not be the sexiest weapon in your sex tool box, but they can prevent a myriad of infections. They’re especially important when rimming to help prevent Hepatitis and dysentery. You can protect yourself and your partner with a little help from the babes at Nikki Darling

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DENTAL DAM SAFETY TIPS

Wash your dam before use, especially if you notice a chalky white substance on the outside. Leave them to air dry before use.

Do NOT reuse dental dams.

At no point during use should you flip the dental dam over, this would render them completely useless in the prevention of infection.

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DENTAL DAM PLEASURE TRICKS

To enhance the receiver’s pleasure, apply plenty of lube to either the labia and clitoris, or anus before placing the dental dam down. It’s okay to re-apply more lube throughout, but remember to make sure it’s the same side that gets put back down.

To enhance the givers pleasure, use a preferred flavoured lubricant. You can also use other food stuffs though (chocolate syrup, whipped cream, peanut butter, etc), as long as you ensure that none falls off the sides and comes into contact with any orifices. Using something flavoured can help to keep the giver more engaged and stops you from just licking latex for half an hour.

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So there you have it dear readers, your guide to giving and getting some safe and satisfying sex. Remember, safe sex doesn't mean it can't be fun and pleasurable. It's all about finding the protection that works for you, and enhancing the sensations (usually with lube)! 

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That is all.

You may go now. 


Reviewing sex toys and prophylactics is made infinitely easier when you have awesome friends like the team at Nikki Darling. They're a kickass online retailer based in Australia whose ethics are as awesome as the products they stock. They provided Skyn Condoms and Glyde Dental Dams to Miss Smut Buttons in exchange for an honest review. Feel free to thank them by checking out their site