People...can you believe it's been a whole year? I know! A whole year since we first started this thing between us. Truly it’s been magical! Maybe it’s time we started talking about settling down? You could stop seeing other websites, I could start offering you targeted advertising, you know we could make this something special.
A year is a long time, especially on the internet. I mean, after a year I'm pretty sure our warranty is now completely void and you've probably realised exactly how I feel about your parents.
And you haven’t been shy about opening up either! I’ve had letters from you, dear readers. I’ve had people writing to ask about getting work in the sex industry, what they can do to advocate for sex worker rights and what the best parlours in Melbourne are to visit.
I’ve had readers asking for advice about masturbation, sex toys, talking to kids about sex, first dates, kinks, fetishes and a hundred other awesome things! And I’ve even had people take the time out of their day just to tell me that I’m magnificent (I’ve always known this, but I still acted surprised and delighted).
So thank you readers, for making this year worthwhile, for engaging with me as much as I’ve engaged with you! Your participation, constructive criticism and witty banter have made this whole endeavour well worth the blood, sweat, tears and other bodily fluids that have gone into it.
In the coming year I’m hoping to start selling sex toys on the site, so if you read a review or a description of something you’d like to try, you’ll be able to buy it here.
I’ll also be working on finding some fabulous penis-owners to help with the reviews, so hopefully we can start offering up to date reviews on the newest masturbators and prostate massagers.
There are plans to change the website around a little, so I hope you’ll all be patient while we sort out any bugs that go along with that. If there’s anything you’d like to see on the site, or something that we change that you’re not a fan of, don’t be afraid to let us know. I might be a genital whisperer, but I’m not a mind reader, so you’ll need to spell it out.
And if you’re familiar with the sex industry and know your way around some witty banter and a well placed gif, get in touch because in the coming year we’d like to see some new voices on here!
And now, it is with great excitement and much fanfare that I would like to introduce to you the face and avatar for the site. Brought to life by Miss Sean of Sean Tayla Illustrations, I couldn’t be happier to introduce to you,
Miss Smut Buttons, In Living Ink!
The likeness is uncanny, I assure you.
So I hope you’ll join me in a glass of bubbles and happy masturbation session to celebrate One Year of Smut! I hope you’ve found it as titillating and enlightening as I have and I can’t wait to spend the next year being debauched and depraved with you, dear readers. Until then!
That is all.
You may go now.